It seems that most spiritual seeking is born of self-interest. Why am I here? Human life is maintained by the action, knowingly or unknowingly, wittingly or unwittingly, of sexual reproduction. Whenever and wherever a human child is conceived and born of worldly parents there will be a person immediately reflective of their parents genetic inheritance integrated with their circumstances of birth and endowed with particular and peculiar qualities of predisposition. In the simplest of terms this defines one’s Karmic predisposition.
I was conceived and born by accident and considered by my family of birth as an unfortunate and consequential mistake for which my parents and family needed to take responsibility at a time when abortion was prohibited. As a child I was not aware of such specifics and naturally took my circumstances of birthright for granted and as a consequence my developing personality was dominated and cultivated by the preexisting realities of my maternal environment.
We inherit the preexisting world in this way. The question of one’s soul’s journey is an enigma while circumstances of birth are empirically specific as to how they qualify an immediate foundation for one’s life. There’s an inherent question as to why I am here and what is my purpose for being which presents an incomprehensible complexity.
So we engage in a lifelong process of self-inquiry. Essentially I come from a scientific and engineering background endowed with a compulsive curiosity about the realities of a preexisting world which becomes a most compelling mystery to be explored and discovered filled with myriad questions to be answered.
On a collective level society finds a place and obligatory purpose for each person which is impressed and enforced upon one as a personal sense of responsibility to establish one’s social characterization as a integrative and competitive part of it. Genetically there is an instinctive will or drive to survive to the best of one’s inherited abilities in accordance with the cultural standards and requirements of a preexisting society which has an imponderable history of its own encompassing the lives of billions and billions of people – past, present and future.
Just what is one to assume? The question or mystery of one’s soul’s journey seems analytically arbitrary and there is an overwhelming exploitation of this consideration. What does it matter if I live or die as a human personality? The ego is a psychological complex. One has relationships of mutual or communal concerns just as others have distinctive personalities as particular and peculiar as our own. There are preexisting role models by which we learn and by which we fashion our own role or roles to perform within our lifetime associations in this world.
I am now 70 years into my life and no longer have personal expectations of personal success beyond knowingly witnessing what is to become of human life and modern society on this earth in this cosmic place and time.
Being ‘grateful’ is akin to ego-centric superstitious beliefs; it is extremely self-centered. Being realistic is akin to analytical rationality as the circumstances of our lives are born of preexisting conditions for which we instinctively resonate. I feel better when I help others and I feel bad when I exploit or abuse others – there’s an inherent desire to cooperate with and benefit others. I would replace ‘gratefulness’ with a rational acknowledgement of the best qualities and characteristics of humanity; but ego-centric human nature is proving to be childish arbitrariness.