I have no responsible role to play; not at least at this stage of the game of life. My status at its onset was illegitimate – an error and a mistake, an unfortunate accident and a family shame with social embarrassment and disgrace; but I was not supposed to know about this state of affairs as a child. It was a pathological childhood. My gift was an innate curiosity with a compulsive desire to know about the world and beyond. So I’m fundamentally a witness for what it’s worth! Knowing about this world in respect to one’s humanity is ultimately a metaphysical paradox of good and evil. I am that I am just as I am and no matter what consequences attend who I am it is what it is and I must revert back to genesis. The human being, homo sapiens, is (or was) genetically engineered to be programmable and the program can be anything the programmer designs. Truth is relative to the ‘programmer’ and the ‘program’ one is running throughout the course of their life. Facts are data points for analytical discretion and rational function. So, looking out at the world and how it got there with human civilizations including the one I find myself living in – the question is what is my place in all of this? What is my point of reference? My contribution in relation to all of this is presumably negligible; my persona paradoxical. Consider this as my reason to be. What is ‘freedom’; what does it mean? Freedom to explore and discover the Truth as my self-determined priority above any and all of the preconditioned ‘social’ programmings. It just is what it is! That’s all anyone could ever ask for. Appreciate the world for what it is. In this sense ‘appreciation’ is gratitude and peace of mind.
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